A version of this story first appeared on the Strategist U.S.
While all long-distance sex toys can be used as regular sex toys, not all regular sex toys can be used long-distance. Toys specifically made for long-distance relationships tend to be vibrators that are operated via Wi-Fi, meaning the other person can control their rhythm and intensity from across the room — or across the world. Many people who are in LDRs (because of the pandemic or otherwise) “really miss that connection and that intimacy that they would have when they’re with a partner,” says sex coach, GQ columnist, and online intimacy instructor Georgia Grace. Whether app-controlled toys are used via FaceTime, during a phone call, or even in the same room, “technology is on your side,” she assures. “It’s here to enhance human connection.” Davia Frost, a sex expert and intimacy coach who happens to be in a long-distance relationship herself, agrees: “They’ve made a world of difference. Even if it’s not on video, even if it’s just while sexting, you can give your partner complete control,” she says. “That can be a fun game to play around with.” To help you find the best toy for you and your partner, however far apart, we asked three sex experts for their favourite sex toys that go the extra mile.
Best long-distance wand vibrator
For long-distance couples who aren’t quite sure where to start, a foolproof option is the Cordless Wand Vibrator from We-Vibe, according to both Grace and Frost. The wand vibrator has ten vibration settings, connects to the We-Connect app for worldwide play, and comes with two additional attachments for both clitoral and penile stimulation. Its simple, wandlike design can be used on your whole body, rather than just your genitals, which is key for those who want to explore a wider range of pleasure: “How I work and how I teach is to bring the whole body into the experience,” says Grace. “You can run the wand over your erogenous zones, or on your neck, or in between your legs.” Frost likes it for its softer, customisable vibrations, too, agreeing that while other wands typically only have a handful of often too-intense settings, the We-Vibe wand lets you “turn down the vibration and go to other parts of your body.” Because of its gently curved shape, the We-Vibe wand vibrator is also the most versatile of the bunch when it comes to genitalia and can be used by those of any sex or sexual orientation. Frost advises to keep your phone charged and unlocked while playing with this one — and any other We-Vibe toy — via the We-Connect app to ensure the connection doesn’t drop.
Best long-distance clitoral stimulator
For clitoral stimulation, Grace and Frost both recommend the Melt from We-Vibe, which connects to their We-Connect smartphone app via Wi-Fi, uses patented pleasure air technology, and has 12 sensation levels so your partner, from anywhere in the world, can customize the intensity. “The [pleasure air technology] brings all that blood flow to exactly where you want it to be,” says Frost, while Grace’s clients say it’s “mind-blowing” and mimics the feeling of oral sex. Since it can rest on your pubic bone, says Grace, it’s basically hands-free, too.
Best long-distance wearable vibrator
“We needed a panty vibe that got it right,” says Frost, whose favorite is the We-Vibe Moxie. It uses a magnet to stay fastened, has whisper-quiet, customisable vibration patterns and intensities, and can be controlled via the We-Connect app. The best part is the ability to use it long-distance, she says, which makes it ideal for power play or experimenting in public when you and your partner are apart. “If you’re going shopping or something, you have this little secret that’s with you, and your partner can turn it on. It’s cool and all to have a little remote control, but it’s even better when your partner can connect from anywhere.”
Best unisex wearable vibrator
For a wearable sex toy that can be worn externally by both male- and female-bodied partners, Carolanne Marcantonio, a licensed master social worker and sex therapist based in Brooklyn, recommends the OhMiBod NEX 1. For over ten years, the company has been experimenting with “vibes for long-distance — and it seems like they’ve perfected it,” she says. The NEX 1 is “something anyone could wear” and though it’s designed for vaginal and clitoral stimulation, it can be “turned around toward the anal opening or testicles” because of its ergonomic, contoured fit. It connects to both Bluetooth and the OhMiBod Remote App, meaning you and your partner can create and save custom vibration patterns no matter how far apart.
Best long-distance dual-stimulation vibrator
The We-Vibe Chorus — an updated version of the beloved We-Vibe Sync — provides both G-spot and clitoral stimulation and is an all-around great toy for long-distance female- and male-bodied couples, say both Frost and Grace. It has three speeds and seven vibration patterns, is controlled via the We-Connect app and a wireless remote, and works for both internal and external stimulation. When you and your partner are together, “it’s something that you can utilize in different ways,” says Frost, who recommends, along with Marcantonio, using it as a stroker or nipple clamp. According to Grace, couples can also use it during penetration to create a “three-way stimulation,” as it vibrates against the penis, G-spot, and clitoris during wear.
Best long-distance prostate massager
For those looking for prostate and perineum stimulation, Frost recommends the Vector, whose long-distance partner likes it for its slower, gentle vibration patterns. “You have more of a rumbling vibration instead of a really buzzy one,” she says, “so you get that nice, deep kind of orgasm.” We-Vibe claims the Vector was designed in collaboration with “leading prostate experts,” and features two app- and remote-controlled motors and over ten vibration patterns, so your partner will have total control over the toy’s intensity and rhythm.
Best long-distance penis ring
Frost’s long-distance partner also likes The Verge by We-Vibe, which is an app-controlled vibrating penis ring. “It has a point at the end that allows the wearer to get some perennium activity, and you can stretch it enough to pull your balls through it, for a tighter fit,” she says. The Verge has a contoured fit and, like the toy above, has powerful rumbly vibrations controlled by the We-Connect app, so your partner will be able to play with preset modes and create their own custom vibrations.
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