In March when everyone was fighting over toilet paper, I had bigger things on my mind. As a single person who lives alone, I was anxious about how I was going to survive without any physical or sexual contact … indefinitely. And given that solo sex was now on the menu every single day — how would I keep it interesting enough in the months ahead so as not to lose my mind?
It had been ten years since I last bought a sex toy (a £30 Rampant Rabbit). But after seeing three of my fave sex educators on Instagram, Ruby Rare, Reed Amber, and Hannah Wittton posting about their powerful massage wands, I was sold on the Doxy. And, although it was three times my budget, I considered it a lockdown investment.
I ordered the cheapest model (£89.99) in my favourite colour: black. It looks a little like an oversize microphone, with a “medical grade” silicone head that sits atop a powerful motor, making it both extremely soft to the touch and easy to clean. Sex and the City fans will recognise the Doxy’s design, which is similar to the Hitachi Massage Wand — a product originally developed to help people massage away their back and neck pain. But placed on the clitoris, it produces another sensation altogether.
A friend told me to prepare myself for the Doxy’s power — but I’m not sure anything could have. The Doxy’s top speed is 9,000 rpm — which makes it more powerful than a lot of car engines. To achieve this level of power though, it plugs directly into the wall, unlike many of its contemporaries, such as the Lelo Smart Wand. I feared this would make it awkward to manoeuvre. But the extremely long (ahem) cable — which is roughly three times the length of your average phone charger — means you don’t really notice, especially in your average London-size bedroom. And it really is a small compromise for the power of vibrations that this massager achieves, which will make your whole body tremble. Even your nose. The fact that it relieves neck and shoulder pain is also a welcome bonus if you, like me, are suffering after months and months of working at home.
The downside to this though, for anyone who doesn’t live alone, is that this toy is pretty noisy — not too far off the sound of an electrical drill. Sorry to my neighbours, I guess. If a quieter toy is what you’re after, I’d recommend something smaller, like the Mimi by JeJoue, which does the job and fits in the palm of your hand. Attachments of different shapes and sizes are available for the more expensive models, the Doxy 3 and 3R, that enable penetration — either of yourself or of someone else, if you’re feeling adventurous. A few months on, I’m in the strange position of leaving lockdown with a new partner — and I’m pleased to report that the Doxy works just as well with two in the bed as with one.
Some other sex toys we like
When we wrote about the best sex toys for men, this came recommended by Lisa Finn, a brand manager and sex educator at Babeland. “The motor is powerful despite the ring not being bulky, and it has a rumbly sensation that delivers deep, penetrating vibration for both partners to enjoy,” she said.
This cordless wand vibrator, on the other hand, is designed for long-distance couples in mind. It features ten vibration settings, connects to the We-Connect app for worldwide play, and comes with two additional attachments for both clitoral and penile stimulation. “You can run the wand over your erogenous zones, or on your neck, or in between your legs,” says Georgia Grace, a sex coach, GQ columnist, and online intimacy instructor.
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